Hitchin' a ride and man what a role model

"No, wait...I'll tell you something," said Zaphod. "I freewheel a lot. I get an idea to do something, and, hey, why not, I do it. I reckon I'll become president of the galaxy, and it just happens, it's easy. I decide to steal this ship. I decide to look for Magrathea, and it all just happens. Yeah, I work out how it can be done, right, but always works out. Its like having a galacticredit card which keeps working though you never send off the checks. And then whenever I stop and think-why did I want to do something?-how did I work out how to do it?-I get a very strong desire just to stop thinking about it. Like I have now. Its a big effort to talk about it"

Yup Hitchhikers opens tonight and I've got to say that speech best sums up Nicks angst with lack of follow through. I mean if Brad had this attitude we would have a band of mopeds roving around wicker park like he raved about last summer. If Jason and Will read this there would be a food not bombs chapter running in Chicago like thay talked about 3 months ago. Nick you don't get off scott free either, come on start your hotdog stand, you'll make millions and I'll work for you. My till is always on. You'll corner the market, I mean all you have for competition are the guys that sell what look like giant orange funyons in those carts with bells on them. Follow through is so easy to ignore when inspired by lacadazia and the blows. Bring on the angry comments maybe it will spark a little commmmmmotion in the cellar. I'm going to rattle some cages peterson. We're not just going to sit back with your finger on the button. What button? Oh no what button? I'm too old. Speaking of follow through I put off finishing this book to the two hours between dinner tonight and the opening of the movie at niner.

Just to cite an example of how godly Yo La Tengo are, this picture is from the vic show last week where they played a song via i-pod from a show they played there 2 years ago. I happened to be at the show but this time they upped the ante choregraphing a dance and adding additional background vocals much in the way the supremes shoo wop. 

That's fun in the collective sense

So animal collective we're quite amazing and really danced around on stage while they played. Aside from not being cartoon characters they were everything I expected. Their live show had many of the songs from the album but they sounded completely different. I bring this up because so many bands are reduced to pushing the play button on stage much like they were a band featured on SNL. This lost my faith in the shins which by the way I would like to get back but after being let down 3 times in a row in concert and no new album I've heard of I'm a little pessimistic.

On a sidenote I'm excited Kit has embraced Wilco. It looks like you've finally climbed aboard the ship directed for the seas of sad bastard. Argh matey we'll put you deck swabbing duty for the first month. Enghst that's myyyy jobs, put him in the gally cleanup. EEhaarghlahgle, that's me job and I've got star tattoos in my arm, I can move up to navigator. Okay maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself and go back to cleaning out the spitoons. happy birthday as well.

Wilsey pickety, I think you and tommy are on to something. You should update the scrabble boards when people comment and get everyone involved. That way we can all play scrabble whenever we choose.

It turns out pizza does taste good with beer-life lesson #279

It turns out I've been living at the culinary bustop for these past 11 beer drinking years. Its always been pizza and a coke. Even in italy it was pizza and a coka. The flavor synapse in my brain finally fired last night and the golden girl I was drinking created a delicious waterslide for the mushrooms, cheese, bread, and sauce that went slip sliding down my throat doing a little shaq backboard slap on my epiglotus saying, "kazzzzzam thats good." It feels like I'm finally in that part of SNL monologue when Tom Hanks is in the 5-timers club. Come this way you don't have to drink that carmelly crap. I'm sold and I'm never going back. Next culinary stop is sushi but that might be a bigger fish to fry.

As for the weekend the 90's party was a blast and highlights included seeing waynes world, dumb and dumber and bulls/lakers highlights on three televisions, an NBAJAM station, as well as a patio kicking soundgarden and Nirvana amidst flannel-wearing, grunge rocking, apathites.

Its BP mania

Every friday there is something called treats day and people trade off bringing in breakfast. Its the equivalent to the office space Hawaiian shirt day(feel free to cut loose and leave the tie at home) created to saturate the brewing anger about to spill over onto the coffee maker. Today I made triple doubler which is a feat I can now stand by and call my own. In laymen's terms I made a not only a triple batch of pancakes but a double batch on top of that. It was a feeding frenzy. I felt like Abe Lincoln in PeeWee's Big Adventure only the ceiling was a collection of people ranging from researchers to secretaries. "Hey there chair of medicine how about a light and fluffy banana pancake." The response was, "Man those are tasty." At one point I was hucking pancakes into the hallway much in the way Will Ferrel threw snowballs in the movie, "The Elf." People were diving liking carp during a feeding frenzy, cutting each others necks in a banana induced mayhem. I just sat back and watched as we were in the middle of an all out BP marathon(two gas stations how ironic). Yeah so I made pancakes all morning and its almost time for lunch.

Yo La Tengo officially renewed my faith in concerts and blew me away much more than the last three times I saw them. Maybe because this was the most recent but with that Todd Rungren cover under there belt they could have juggled apples for the rest of the show and I would have been happy. Even if they bruised a few and a worm came out and gave me the stink eye. As for tonight come out for Kaitlins b-day as its a 90's party and I know a certain group who lived the 90's during college so have no fear. Bring out the pearl jam gear, don't forget the hypercolor shirts and of course I'll be wearing Zubaz pants.

You have to stop XRTeasing me, its gone too far

I'm the fat kid on the playground with and undy grundy over my head and in the next state. I'm a four eyes who has a complex and feels like a tsetse fly now with glasses fit for my thousand eyes. A pile of shit has a thousand flies. I'm the kid with the funny last name who everyone makes fun of including the teacher. Justin Wang. Schwing. The laughter dies down a little bit. And then one kid goes schwing again in the corner of the room and boom riotous laughter again.

Now that I've setup what I view as analogous to my mental beating today I'll explain further. So I'm running from room to room this morning and what should I here but a little Wilco live in Madison. As noone in my lab listens to anything but the light I was a little perplexed. On second analysis it was XRT and they played not one live wilco songs but two. To follow that up they played "For your Love" by the yardbirds. At this point I was sitting pretty and I began to think to my self man I haven't heard such a sweet rock block on the radio in quite some time. I felt for a split second that I would write in to XRT and praise the DJ who manned the 1:30-2:30 slot and tell him:

I know I'm only one voice but I represent a voice of many frustrated young adults who want and outlet on the radio from the monday morning fart song and Howard Mancow polluting the airwaves. I mean Terri Hemmmorage may be a Rolling Stones aficionado but who cares, why don't you guys tap into a growing resource and money maker. I mean jesus christ the stupidy of puddle of mud and cradle filth drive me crazy not to mention Creed and Nickleback giving me a tumor in my brain. Please take this as a happy praise for the dj who had enough sense to go against the grain.
sincerely,
john Q public

About when I was going to sit down and write that another thing happened, a song came on that goes a little something like this: "you bring me everything but down." I felt to myself how ironic. Thanks XRT I won't give you the pleasure of another teaser. You're done. Its CDs for me. Until we get our own personal radio stations which shouldn't be to far away. We've replaced mainstream newssources with blogs lets move on to a live web broadcast. I know people do it(ie POOSE) but we should all do it with our own playlists. That would be the final turn of the knife in the man. Twist. Good thing we're using that vietnam knife with the zigzag pokey teeth.

If you're looking for a sign from God, its here

After a weekend chocked full of improv and lake housing, we were on our ride back home on Sunday and what should I see on a church sign but the message in my header. I'm used to going on long road trips with tales of crazy southern churches with messages like,"If you don't go to church the devil is gonna get you," as well as, "god bless George W. Bush."(similar oh yes). This particular sign in my heading came from none other than my home town. How could this have happened. For one thing, it is the second whitest town in Illinois. For another thing my parents put a No War sign up and it got ripped down. At first I thought, "no-good kids, too much time on your hands." Then I began to realize the scary part, it wasn't kids at all. Its the same people that phoned in death threats to the library in my home town not to play Fahrenheit 9/11.

Getting back to the meaning of my header, I wrote it because it knocked me off my feet. Thats the one thing we have against churchies. The fact that there is no physical evidence for one religion over another is my biggest defense in my remaining athiest. I know there are a lot of stories passed down oraly and transcribed but everyone has their stories. Like the story about the guy who fell asleep in the rain with a sheet of acid on his chest and became a human glass of orange juice nervous to be tipped over. Or the guy who stopped going to church and started hanging out with the kids who like the misfits only to learn that he didn't respect authority as well and wanted to start a speed death metal band and really didn't care about school either or work for that matter and just stole from his parents whenever he needed money and has ended up in rehab only to return for the rest of his life. The part I don't get is did Lardass have to pay to get into the contest. No Verne They just let him in. Oh good story.

One thing we can all agree on

Come to Brian's improv group tonight. Most of time when I think Improv I think of the Assualted Nuts group in Houstin not letting 9/11 win. But honestly its Brian and we may even get some total recall as a freebie. The only thing that comes to mind is Fask Alla multiplicity where theres 15 Brians on stage. Maybe I'm over here maybe I'm over here. Each brian is a different color to match the characters in his blog. Only then can we truley understand all that is Fask.


his improv group is performing at The Cornservatory
at 4210 N. Lincoln Ave.

its byob so bring some bruisers

the show starts at 11:00pm, but get there at 10:30 in order to get a seat
cause it may sell out.

The Shinning was a little dark

Quiet boy do you want to get us sued?

scenario #1

I must say although I was super charged for the shins show like some one with a wocket in there pocket, I was a little dissapointed. All I'm saying is that I want to relive the first time I heard chutes to narrow. That magical feeling like your floating(you got them all on your side, the judge....wah wah wahhhhh). When I go to the shows it just feels like they have a jambox on stage and Mercer walks across and pushes play. I've been two 3 shins shows now and I keep expecting something unreal but they've been touring for 3 years on one album and I'm getting sick. Aside from a couple newbies and magnetic fields cover, the show was pretty formulaic.

scenario #2

Mercer looked kind of scared on stage as he usually does. He looked a little more like that guy who mumbles under the bright light in The Usual Suspects. It triggered a thought process in my head that maybe they're being forced to play the htis. Mercer was isolated from the rest of the band on the side with a spotlight on his face. I couldn't see his leg, they're maybe have been a cartoon barbell attached to it. In any case they came on with the hits and big brother opened up the ceiling and whispered, "Since Garden State has done so well why don't you play New Slang." It didn't even seem like a choice anymore. Okay we'll play it again. New Slang when you notice....

my brother gave me that hat now lets play softball

Did you know that Kiever Sutherland used be a really bully to the kids in Stand By Me in order to really get his part down? Watch your last step coming out of the trailer verno. Did you have a nice trip? Now you know I'll see you next fall. I kind of feel like we've all slipped into some sort of sandlot meets sin city fantasy world where one of us will have wire rim glasses and squint all the time and another person will ride around the diamond on a motorcycle wearing a trenchcoat.

Prediction for Saturday

Just as in the blog world Dan and his friends are sure to burn out but this time its around the diamond. Eq hanging onto the hip bone for dear life, Fask was last sighted funboarding in Tucson, Arizona very near the dead sparrow with its tongue dried out and hanging to its side. G3P0 is rusted in the enchantd forest next to the tin man. With all that said best of luck this saturday. Now that's some sass. Too much? Not Enough!

A Grecian Holiday

There once was a man named Wilson Pickety
who came from a land called Snickety Snickety Snickety

Now Woodrow happened to ride on Horse
that was duley named Brian Willson of course

Always XBOX til dawns day light
until one day became a festive night

so tip your hat and raise high your beer
our Wilsons turned another year

Back to Back Nightmares

Nightmare #1
I fall into a pool of water with another chum and there starts a shark attack. Gary is one of the sharks but he doesn't hurt me.

Nightmare #2
I am in an airplane and all of a sudden the weather turns terrible and a bolt of lightening hits our plane killing all the power(but somehow only shocking us, stupid mind in dreams) and the pilot is able to land the plane in the practice fields behind LT South.

Lots of outdoor activities this weekend. On Saturday Kaitlin,Nick, and I biked down to the lake and visited Sarah at their work. Some might have said I was third bicycle wheel to this party but that was theme of the day after having sedimenty cafe in the morning at Kaitlins. We biked down the lakefront and went under the underpasses to end up on Michigan Ave. Man is it fun to sing in those tunnels. We popped out and I saw two girls sharing one i-pod to which I had to respond, "two girls one i-pod, now I've seen everything." We stopped by to pick up Sarah at Urban and knowing that it wouldn't be an inandout thing, Nick and I rested our legs at a urban hipster station complete with throw pillows and a heavy metal chicks/rodies book. After waiting a little bit Nick and I stopped in the American Apparel to read the articles of course and there were girls harassing us with swimsuits on the outside of their clothes. Alligators with sunglasses! Had a pitstop at the Matchbox to which Sarah and Kaitlin ordered two Tom Collins. Poor Tommy Too Cool for School. Nick had a gin and tonica and I had a bruiser. Would've been nice to have an outdoor coctail but they were playing Neil Young inside so I was happy.

The beach was nice on sunday and although noone actually went in the water, the mindset was there that maybe it might get nice enough soon to jump in. Had a few porch beers at the big D head quarters and learned of a oldies vs newbies softball game. How the hell am I supposed to get anything done this week knowing this game is in the near future.

PART hard

That ones for you donnie and I almost lost it thinking of you at work at 4:30pm and counting down the seconds til you leave all the while having chicken dance bobbing around your head. I feel for you. We've all got our poisons as dan has "I just died in your arms tonight" I've been exposed to too many UV rays from the light FM and I've got a case, "I can feel breathing I can feel you I can feel da da da high note" We've all got carry each other along. Guns in the cavalry the heart of a man, a knight without armor in a savageland. Gordy gordy gordy. I could have dodged it. Skin it skin it.

3 things I realized today

1.)Greasy soul food decreases productivity
2.)Working to Beck's Sea Changes on a sunny day should be banned
3.)my parents have a blog

Vitamin D!!!!!

Wow, sunlight really gets you going. They should sell it with alcohol included and put sparks out of business once and for all. Sorry Jason and Gary I know you guys like getting hopped up on sparks and then hitting people all night and shaking/gyrating through the morning. There's got to be a better way.
Thanks to everyone who came out last night, it was one of the best showings yet. On to bigger and better things, PST is playing tonight at the Sub-T and it won't be a teaser so come out. Today I'm getting soul food for lunch with my broheim who just got into Northwestern by the way. Cue cheers. This is all tinged with a hint of melancholy as this brings forth and end of an era. Similar to when my semester in Italy was over and Erich,Yishai,and I stopped living in Via Formaggi so is the schneider brother invasion of U of C. More importantly and sadly this will be the last year of softball. Ah softball, memories of JC making clutch hits in the final game of the season, Marielle with shoestring catches in rightfield, D-heimer homers in the UofC field(whoa that ones way over there heads, neock with his aquasocks(I thought they looked pretty sweet on the field), and let us not forget our bench vegetables bock choi and broccoli(jason/jeff). We're talking softball, Friday afternoons with the drive's vinyl fridays and afternoon beers with the vitamin D kicking. I think I'm getting myself overexcited as the first game is May 13th.

sad penguin 

mummy Will with a cig 

Extra Extra Fill it up again!

Just learned that there is going to be casting calls for extras this Saturday from 10am-4pm for the new Will Ferrel movie Stranger than Fiction. All you have to do is bring a photo showing your face and a pen. It all takes place at 1010 W. Chicago at the Chicago Academy for the Arts. I always wanted to be one of those people sitting around the bear cage in Anchorman. Well sort of. In any case I just thought it would be hilarious if we all were in a W.F vehicle finally.

This weekend is really filling out as Darling is playing this Thursday at the Beat Kitchen(2100 W Belmont), Pedal Steel is playing at the Sub-T(2011 North Ave) on Friday, and Kelly might be having a shindig on Saturday night. Mimosas at noon on Sunday at my place and then its the batman marathon. Thats right 12 old batman episodes in a row and I even recruited and extra couch for the occasion. Breakfast lunch and dinner will be served. This will all happen pending its not 80 degrees outside and if that happens than we're all going swimming.

viva via formaggi and god bless golden girls

Inspired by the boredom Turok watching endures, I spun the crystal ball of Saturday night and Erich and I soon found ourselves with two gits and an empty porch. I suggested an ode to yishai, otherwise known as the Am Dm Em sullen seance, before long we were dueling. As soon as we started I began to get flashbacks to via Formaggi in Verona full with baseball bats, meat cookies, and ugly back packs. Very soon we had Neock on background vocals and I felt better than my previous computational quagmire. Erich's licks were better than I've ever seen and I'm pretty sure I saw smoke forming around his fingers and the fret board. Falling farther into memory I remember perching on our porch in Verona and playing guitar. I would play everyday after class and everyday there would be the same gypsy girl asking for change at the traffic light near my humble abode. It really makes you feel greedy when some people get dealt such rotten hands in life and you're studying art and italian two days a week and traveling five.

Sunday came like a lightening bolt through the head as I woke up close to 2pm. I decided to make an egg salad sandwich on bread baked by JC. This instantly brought back memories of childhood. Occasionally when my mom was at work my dad would make me lunch. My dad doesn't cook very often but he has a handful of recipes he's mastered: Grandma Schneider Chop Suey, Grandma Schneider Sour Crout, Grandma Schneider Spaghetti, Reubens, Cornbeaf Hash, and Egg Salad. If growing up isn't hard on its own, my dad made me egg salad sandwiches for lunch. Imagine a normal lunch table with me in the middle and my bag closed. As soon as a few scents leaked out the tip of the brown paper bag the kids would move to edges of the tables just like spindle fibers in meiosis. On a completely unrelated story I got beat up by everyone in my class in 3rd grade. Getting back to Sunday I was just about to prepare lunch when Gary calls and asks, "Hey Jeff what's going on today." Sensing danger I began to chant in my head, "please don't ask me to help move, please don't ask me to help move, please don't ask me to help move." that's about when Gary says, "you think you could help us out in 14 mins moving some couches and furniture." I agreed because a solid is a solid and everyone needs a solid once in while. Also he said they're would be some golden girls available. Another sensational wave began to descend upon me, the coveted sunday afternoon post workout golden girl reflecting happiness off the sun. I did my part and enjoyed the cold sodas til the last drop. I even got to play guitar with my brother in the parking lot while he played a 7up bottle and a coat hanger. Not to bad. Not to bad at all.