I wish I had a canoe

My weekend started with sadness. The softball team I am on got defeated on Friday and ended our otherwise below 500 season early. It kinda acts as a slap in the face by old man winter as he laughs in his snow drift. Friday night I went out to dinner and then met up with some friends at a party in Humbolt. I got the standard you look like Dave Groehl which fell off my shoulders as usual. This came from a guy who farts for a living. I asked him what his craziest moment in his life was and I was sure he would say tuxedo t-shirt at prom but really was when he was in football practice and someone hit the crap out of him. Literally. Needless to say we weren't dealing with billy shakespeare here. He even ended up insulting gentle Voss into rage and I thought I saw a glimmer of "maybe I want to fight" in the corner of Nyro's Gyro(eye of the storm). Then Nick walked forward took a sip of hamm's in a can(as if it came in anything else) and returned to normalcy(with the US after WW1). People were dressed to the niners and my friends played the high maintenance game. Its pretty simple. The more you put into your outfit(super high hair or nettings and oversized sweaters past your knees) there is a correlating sliding scale with how much stress you have and impose in your life. Its pretty airtight but I couldn't help from feeling pretentious as a result of it. All and all though thanks to Liz for a sweet party and good time. I particularly liked talking to her about Nick Hornsby. I told her I thought that About A Boy was a better book then movie, that High Fidelity was the best screen adaptation to a book I've ever seen and was therefore better than the book, and that How To Be Good fell way short of the mark. She told me that I took the words out of her mouth so I said sorry and gave them back. But seriously I wonder if this is common knowledge or just coincidence that the two of us think this way. If you would care to comment it would be greatly appreciated so I could put it in some database that I'll never look at again but was happy to have accomplished.

the end of fun 

On the run from johnny law 

Its not everyday I guess

Its not everyday that two friends from New York are in for just one night. As we embarked for the rainbo I began to think about how things used to be. It kinda feels like we've all been mashed into a giant clay ball at graduation and then hurled through the air out the second story window. We all have separate goals in life but there is always time for one night few and far between. With Kevin, Rudy, Mike, Jason, Ruby, Cindy, and Nick I almost felt like I was throwing a highschool party again. What minus JAD with a garbage bag around his waste and the new addition of Jessyln. As we walked out of rainbo we began to take pictures on a moped and they came out quite delightful. We had Rudy riding pilot with mike, kevin, and Nick hanging off like a trio of hired goons complete with black shirts and single eye masks. Its all fun and games till the owner of the moped came out and was a little disheartened to see his baby being manhandled in such a way. Someone asked if the guy if he wanted to get on with us but that didn't go over so smoothly either. So we moved on to the Lava Lounge but only stayed for a drink. Next came the search for food, I somehow inspired everyone to walk towards Taco Veloz and I kept chiming in that its the place with the rotating lit sign. As we came within 15 feet, the sign turned off and we cried outside the door making the hungry face and pointing to the door like it was some sort of mechanical problem. We settled for UnderDogs and finished the night four of us, Kevin, Cindy, Rudy, and me. As I walked back to my brothers the sky was starting to become light and I knew I would feel like garbage the next day. Its good to feel like garbage every so often. It keeps your body in check because garbage water cleans your soul.

And the geese descend on the city... 

Bono and the Edge go to a birthday party where the streets have no names? 

A praise to Pip. I took this picture for you last night. 

Saturday summer sun

I went and saw Death Cab and Modest Mouse on Saturday. I went to what is known as the Q101 block party. The whole place is a living breathing cliche. For one thing they call themselves the "new alternative" but they are sponsored by the army. I mean they had a pullup rack nestled in between the overpriced jumbo pickle stand and the connies pizza booth. What is worse are all the loyal loopers turned Q-oners. I mean talk about being caught in between two lives, the 70's and the 90's, but never really having any grasp on today. Modest Mouse and Death Cab we're fabulous however, which makes me quite the oxymoron so I'll just bathe in the stink bath that I described above.

Harry Potter has put a spell on me

I was at the lakefront on Sunday and was walking along the rocks with a few friends. I look down in a crevice and who should I see but Harry Potter. Right as I'm about to pick him up from his hiding place, my sandal falls off and down into the unreachable chasm of rocks. As I do this I look at the harry Potter action figure and realize that he is missing his left foot(the exact sandal I dropped). Looking at the figure I noticed that his glasses we're missing. Right as I was about to say something my friend Kit slips for a second and his sunglasses go flailing down to the bottom of the rocks never to be reached again. We finally made it to the sunny beach and I layed harry potter in the sand and buried him up to his head. I did bury myself in the sand as well . When I got home, I changed out of my swimtrunks and in doing so dispelled half the beach onto my bedroom floor, small price for being submerged to my neck in sand. If Harry and I ever meet for a game of Quidich I think I will have to let him win because I don't think I can go on living like this voodoo magic lifestyle anymore.

casper

If you eat it all and I don't get any I hope to god there is a trememdous gust of wind and you get covered head to toe in powdered sugar. I'll call you Casper. Then you can come back to work and do all my jobs without actually being seen. All you will see is pipets moving and tubes being suctioned. Everyone will be like hey Jeff who are you talking to. And I'll respond my invisible friend Casper. Next thing I'll know I'll be playing with fischer price tubes and crayons but I won't be at UofC anymore but in a padded room with remnants of Casper and one fateful trip to Great America running clearly in my head.

End of an Era

I finally closed on my condo yesterday and I feel like I aged 5 years in one morning. I've finally reached my dream of clenching soil in my hands like in gladiator(minus all the fighting) and owning a piece of land. Of course I have been living at home for the longest amount of time since highschool(13months-that burns) and although it worked as an excellent pickup line(I live with my parents-you dig) the cons definitely outweighed the pros here. It was my brothers birthday yesterday and he had a birthday party like in elementary school-restaurant and then bowling. The only thing that was different was the excessive swearing(tradeoff for saying things like "when I look at you I throw up, And your mom comes around the corner and licks it up) and tons of booze(tradeoff for pixie sticks and pizza). All in all it was an excellent cross-mojination/intermingling of mine and my brothers friends. Dan had a few PSTeezers at the lane whereas Nicky got Naty with a few Nickie tricklers. Although the sox lost and the cubs won, the sox-tainted bowling team won the final game and that was a moral victory in the mind over those dirty shawan-0-meter toting, "We got Wood" chanting, barleycorn bumping, Steve Stone loving, "holy smokes thats rock falling on my head"but not caring because I'm wasted and not watching the game North Siders.

Me2

This past weekend Nick and I dressed up as Bono and the Edge for my friend Ellen's birthday party. Really it was meant to be her birthday present. I was decked out in pleather pants and sunglasses whereas Nick had a tight camo t-shirt and a dirty drawn on mustache-beard combo. We met the J's at division and when we came up to them we decided to hold hands. The J's just hugged the building as they walked by us. I think I heard a J say, eh they're scary. And then the other J said: "chill, I don't eat spinach for nothing. "

Ding ding dinger

We're playing softball today on the University Baseball field. Complete with scoreboard and dugouts. I even brought a jambox to sweeten the deal. Not to mention some golden girls. Anyone else want a sno-cone. It relaxes me. I found out yesterday I really am closing my condo this Wednesday so my ode to oscar can be all but forgotten because he was found again. He paid off everything and now everything is resolved at least I think. I have a terrible feeling I'm going to do the final inspection and there will be plants growing everywhere like in Jumanji. Nick will be stuck halfway between the floor and condo below us. Roll the dice. Shock me. Of course there will be monkeys everywhere and I'll attempt to make them all do a group mojo happy dance but they'll probably just yell and play bongo drums or something. They'll Probably break plates and drive everyone's cars. They love doing that.

inside the church 

bird 

please don't tear it down

After work today I was walking to my car and my friend asked me if I wanted to go inside of an abandoned church. I saw a dome on the top of it and it made me feel like I was in Florence again only without the gorey fresco Michelangelo did in the interior of the dome(people getting eaten). So I was walking through this massive church from the last century and was amazed by pipe organs slightly in tact and mirrors broken every which where. Here is a picture of one of the walls. You can still go on top of the dome for an excellent view of Chicago.

angry eagle from the muppet show

I thoroughly enjoy midweek weekends. On a whim I decided to go to the beach for lunch(same amount of time allotment so I'm not playing hooky its down the street). I sat at the lakes edge eating a porkchop and realized I would have never done this if it wasn't my friend's birthday. That night I went to see "guess who's coming to dinner" at Grant Park and picnicked with Mellow Yellow Fried Chicken. I was a little worried myself. I thought I'd be eating twenty ounce bottles but the chicken turned out to be superb. There was a Mickey Mouse short before where Mickey takes down a giant with a thread and a needle to win the hand of Minnie. I really could relate to Mickey except for the giant and needle stuff. During the credits at the end of the show an outstanding rainstorm blew in and led everyone to start screaming since the wind was so hard. To give you a better picture, Buckingham Fountain was shooting sideways as apposed to up. Even neater it was blowing right on the congregation of people in the park. It wasn't dangerous or anything but I've never seen something so amazing. After the movie we went back to Hyde Park where I decided to stay for the night. We walked to a bar and I saw the angry eagle from the muppet show on the way. I really lost it. I included the picture to make my point. We stayed at the bar far past close because the bartender liked one of my friends so we sat at a table with only one light on in the entire bar. We listened to the Ocean by the VU and really enjoyed where we were. Not just at the bar but the entire day. I sang tired of being alone by Al Green at the top of my lungs and JC was humoring me and telling me he really understands the song now. He said its impossible to write a song because everything that's cool has been said already. In any case we walked home but really we were falling from some fantasyland that we found. In the morning JC and I went and got gyro omeletes from a restaurant called Salonica. I made it to work on time and everything was right in the world

Making excellent time on this fogwalk

So I was walking into work today and was confounded by how much garbage was everywhere. There was a festival in Washington park and there were beer bottles everywhere. I don't understand what imulses people to just throw there thrash on the ground. Have they given up on society or do they just want to hook land dolphins in 6pack rings. Either way it was a sad state to walk through. Getting to the meat of my story, on my way into work I encountered an old lady who had a shirt that read: Senior Citizen...Just give me my damn discount. I wonder if thats how I'll feel when I'm old and grey. So here I sit to begin a new day and to always think of another way.

A Praise to Pip

So we were walking through downtown Madrid at 3am and we come to the Puerta de Sol and low and behold there is monument that commerates the center of Spain. Suddenly I looked into the sky and what do I see but a small white smudge in the sky. As the moment progresses the smudge gets bigger and more defined. Who should it be but Pip coming in for a LANDING with each hand holding on to straps directing the parachute for precision accuaracy. Man what an entrance. So for this I tip my hat to you old friend.

and then of course the suitable followup to being in the center of spain 

center of spain