Out of the ashes

Last week took its toll on me and actually went a whole week without drinking. It sounds pretty pathetic but it definitely clears your mind and helps you focus. It seems that everyone has the plague and you know things are getting bad when even the vossman bossman has got red eyes and a crusty look that he's been through about 5 boxes of cleenex and cough drops. I'm not sure how I narrowly escaped this epidemic. My theory is that waking up at 6am everyday for the past week somehow pushed me over the hump and scared the sickness away. Like that carnival game with the bowling ball you have to push on the track. I always had a theory in college about the tri-fector curing all the ails you. Here's how it works, if you're feeling ill and you going to be sick anyways, you might as shock you're system with beer, booze, and cheeba to the point of synergy between your achiness from sickness and your hangover. In each isolated circumstance you would feel like garbage but when combined together the two negatives multiply by each other to make a positive. You end up feeling like the bear floating on a cloud in the Downy commercials. Of course this has only worked once but I swear to live by it. So next time your feeling haggard, give it a try it might just blow your mind into submission. It is very reminiscent of old medicine using electro shock therapy or leeches. With that being said, I guess I'm doing society a favor by not going to medical school. Take two shots of Jameson and a quarter doobie and that should clear up that hay fever. What your bones ache too, I've got just cure, get into the handstand position and do a 60 count while doing a keg stand, you'll forget all about your achey bones.

My head is crashing at an alarming rate

Scrap metal here and scrap metal over there. It seems like they're all in piles. What's going on around here? Smoke is coming from the windows over there at the elementary school. Things are slowing down to the speed of thick gravy. It took hours for that dog to get around the block but no sign of anything routine anymore. Lights all show yellow and I don't see any cars. In fact I don't see anything alive except one tree. I sit under it until I regain consciousness.

Lost the connection, am I even learning anymore? It feels like pushing a boulder up a hill that is slick with vomit. Better get the sawdust out but even if that helps my tread, will I ever get to the top. Is Sisyphus laughing or crying?

-unspoken testament to waking up at 6am for the past week

Is the clock going to stop!?

I was talking to Kit and Nat on Saturday night and was expressing my hope for a repeat of Saturday afternoon. Some sort of groundhog day repeat bizarro world would have been great. Some times a day is so right on that it invades all of your thoughts. Here is how it goes.

wake up around 11:30
orange cinnamon rolls and orange juice-12:00
mimosas-12:30
Lunchies 2(frodo favorite)-1:00
Snow trek-2:00
Outside Providance-3:00
Kadichers-7:00

Maybe it was wearing sweatpants all day or the cooks, but I haven't had a mind unwinder like that in a long while. It creates a yearning like none other but really makes you happy that although life can be stressful sometimes, there are also bubbles of perfection fizzing awaiting you in your next mimosa inspired afternoon. Sunday came like a shovel in the face and pop back into reality. Arrested Developement couldn't even bring me back to even what with its mediocre performance.

Fill in the blanks of life when you decide that your not in the right place. No one else is going to. Thats what the last two months have taught me. I wish I knew sooner but I guess that goes with everything in life.

I want to build igloos

So there is supposed to be a massive snowfall tonight and tomorrow of about 7-10 inches. This wields me back to soph year of college when there was such a huge snowfall that one of the buildings generators shortedout/someone set it on fire and we had a snowday in college, a feat never before imagined. We did the only thing appropriate and set our sails for Allerton and the tumbling snow covered hills. This was a much different era, Will was on the verge of being declared rookie of the year with a little competition from Efrain the train(Will won hands down) and the Stroka Regime dominated Healey. Anyway we didn't really have a consistent group of girls but it was already in the crystal ball that a posse of street savvy TVD's would be on the way, ready to fight for solo possession and all rights to the Glenn Frye stank billowing out of the chimney of 104 east john. The road is twisted and there are a few forks but that pretty much brings us up to the present

Even when one light dims

Yesterday my brother left his lights on all day and needed a jump after work. I thought it was pretty foolish on his part but as I was walking in today my brother called me and told me I left my lights on as he had parked behind me. It seemed to be some sort of double karma voodoo going on. Taking 200 steps back, does anyone believe in Karma anymore? Karma has Hindu origins and here's one way of looking at it: all good actions produce good effects, and bad actions bad....The fruits of good deeds bring pleasure and enjoyment to the doer, while fruits of bad deeds cause him suffering and pain. Events like the recent tsunami however, make you doubt everything under the sun what with the 150,000 people not being able to live their lives to the fullest. I know its a rash example but clearly defines that nothing in this universe is layed out for us. For all we know we have just as much a soul as a minnow. At least they have an open circulatory system. Last week my brother told me he was done arguing with people about whether or not one has a soul and I told him although I disagreed with him I still found it good conversation. On Monday I was hanging out with GP and KB til 2 in the morning talking about everything and nothing and found it quite refreshing along with the cold sodas. Screw Pangea and souls I believe in the religion of conversation. Maybe I'm throwing that word around too loosely but that really is what matters in the world and everyone can be judged on an even playing ground pending you have a translator. I guess that's the point of this blog thing, an even exchange of thoughts at any possible time and location in the world. "you can watch female mud wrestling on one channel while playing mortal combat with a friend in Vietnam on the other, the possibilities are endless!" Being a narrow-minded freshman in college I never really understood the need to be an English major. But after a few years I realized that literary circles and English professors push the future writers of America into the real world and out of the fantasy camp of college. By senior year I realized the English Building was the building to put up flyers for shows and how envious I was of people who majored in creative writing. With all that said I still wouldn't major in English if I could do it all over again. After all I write like a 3rd grader.

Where there is a will there is...a way...to play...Whirleyball

Friday after work was good fun as I was told at Ola's that I look like a beatle. In retrospect she said that although the beatles were deemed rebellious, their hair really wasn't that out of control when they just came out. I guess that was until Paul had more hair showing than clothes during which George rode around in his citar car and John was feeding a fat lady spaghetti by the shovel. Ironically we listened to the entire latin-american Beatles cover album, an absolute gem from the somewhat scarce selection of Ola's jukebox. After Ola's everyone spilled over to the lovers's lounge(lava) and it felt like a private party for the first 2 hours. The bartender said those first two hours were her moment of zen as she dripped honey into her tea that helps her reach nirvana. JC asked her if the honey was special and she said nope, got it at Edmar. That was enough for me and I retreated to the hotel california VIP room in the back. I stopped drinking around 8pm and switched to free cokes as whenever one says they're the designated driver you get about 6 free cokes on a silver platter along with a tailor measuring your cuff links for absolute pleasure in the process, and a man ready to give you a shave and haircut. If only every bar treated DD's as well as the lava. We got to Whirley ball around 12 and were pushed to the front of the queue thanks in no small part to Sarah and her sweet-T connection who turned out to be quite the all star at W-ball with his custom scoop. The place was crawling with fratties and in the words of my brother, "its a date rapist convention." A funny scene from the bathroom goes as follows:

beta-yo dude you working it tonight

alpha-you know it, cutie's into me

alpha-Hey Sig you alright? Haven't seen you all night.

Sig-yeah man,just a little wasted but I'm ready to put my A-game on.

-----jeff goes to wash his hands---------------

Beta-yo alpha, this guy looks like Dave Groehl.
---jeff groans looks to the ceiling then to some sort of clear unscathed path to the sink------------
Beta-No really you do look like him dude. you look like him. you look like him!
Jeff-standard dave groehl congragulatory nod and acceptance

Stay on target, stay on target. This past weekend I attended a 16 hour GRE course. Waking up at 7am on Saturday and Sunday is not my cup of tea and as Nick put it, "man thats gonna suck." Is was a little brutal but hey I learned the word gossamer which means "light" and "airy." Yup I went to sleep at 9pm on sat for the first time in about 15 years.

I dreamt about finding a briefcase that was old fashion looking but inside there was a cell phone with my name on it, a bottle of wine from italy with about 1/8 left, two postcards of crash test dummies eating breakfast and smiling, a laptop case, and had velvet lining. I can't make any sense of it but maybe I'm becoming what I'm about to become. Briefcases line the basement walls as well as the attic, I think its in my bloodline and this dream surfaced to alert me to reality. Or maybe not.

When I woke up today I stepped in cat vomit. I threw the sock away and whistled to myself since it barely phased me. I went to cub food to pick up 5 boxes of oatmeal and coffee cake for work and when I put the food in the back seat the door latch was frozen so it just stayed open. I grabbed tape and rigged it closed all the while saying you better Belize this isn't going to ruin my day. When I got to work the door thawed enough to latch shut and my cuffs were bone-dry.

However what was still going on in my head was the daily procedure people have at the supermarket on a Friday morning around 8am. I saw a butcher, with blood all over the front of his apron, throw a slab on the floating meat aisle.
Then a man yelling at a woman about yogurt placement on the shelf. The person behind me ordered batteries, cake mix, and a magazine. Must have been making robot cake monsters who are going to hunt down celebrities. A bit of a stretch I guess.

GP is on the radar

In the year 2005

We're here.

The weather was remarkably mild on New Years eve. Going outside and wearing nothing but a T-shirt and jeans is rare gem for winter time and releases happiness from the stranglehold of old man angry(the ice king sitting upon his frosty throne, with penguins at his fingertip). I learned of my aging process when I went to jump up over a wooden fence and missed by a half shoe length. Little skid on the arm was a small price to pay. Kinda reminded me of when cats jump on to couches/chairs and just miss. That's probably one of the funniest things to see and I must have been just as hilarious.

New Years was a class act and Danny did his best to one up Donny. Although as Gary said, "definitely some key characters missing from each group," I thought the party was a blast. Highlights in my head were in chronological order: pre-new years singalongs, champaign toasts, hipnotyzing people with cake on a stick, and finally dancing the charleston. As with any new years extravaganza, in my book at least, the night resolves into huge scene missing. Waking up with cigarette butts you didn't smoke and 4-5 stains on your clothes from drinks that missed your lips. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

And there were flowers on the walls...