Its too cold for music
As I walk into work from my car everyday, I also listen to headphones, bob my head and wear big sunglasses. It puts me in a good mood and I nod to strangers as they move to the beat of the song at the moment. Although as you can guess from the title it was too cold for my cd player to work. So I did the only thing logical, I stuck it too my warm belly and waited for the the cogs and sprockets to warm up. Sure enough after a good stomach toast, the cd player was up and running and I began to bop along to the snow fields of Jackson Park.
Quick note about old people and weather. Once old people hear about any sort of weather news they decide to tell the whole world. I stumbled upon and old man parking guy in the African American museum and he said, "They say its gone be the coldest of the year tomorrow." I of course answered with enthusiasm, "Oh man that's gonna be trouble." I think weather scares old people but is also the only thing that has stayed constant in their lives so they grasp it like a child in a tandem parachute jump. That and church. If I do start my own religion I'll let people have religion in the end of there life. It gets old people to volunteer and also brings comfort in a world of so much inane idiocy.
In the dead of winter(shit can't use that)...In the nuclear winter(damn can't use that either)...In the blizzard wasteland its hard to imagine anything being able to persist amongst the death grip of old man winter. I was thinking about turning the heat off but the thought of Ween turning into a frozen Mr. Bigglesworth scared me so I left it at 55. Then my dad said screw it the only reason you turn the heat on is to keep the pipes from freezing, the cats a fighter and that's the best chance we got. I was like ah yes that's why you're my father. I've decided that learning life lessons from good parenting can be a life long class. In the last year I've learned how to change the oil in my car with the help of lint, kitty litter, and milk jugs. As you can see its no jiffy lube but it gets the job done to a T. I've also learned how to get out of any possible traffic violation. I've gotten into 3 moving violations in the last year and none have gone on my permanent record. It says here one time you pushed a dog by its hind legs like a vacuum cleaner. I was able to get out by being put on probation, taking a class, and fighting the ticket. I felt like citing John Locke and the case of 1782 of the people vs the United States but then knew I wasn't as smart as G. Will H. and decided to keep my yapper shut.
Quick note about old people and weather. Once old people hear about any sort of weather news they decide to tell the whole world. I stumbled upon and old man parking guy in the African American museum and he said, "They say its gone be the coldest of the year tomorrow." I of course answered with enthusiasm, "Oh man that's gonna be trouble." I think weather scares old people but is also the only thing that has stayed constant in their lives so they grasp it like a child in a tandem parachute jump. That and church. If I do start my own religion I'll let people have religion in the end of there life. It gets old people to volunteer and also brings comfort in a world of so much inane idiocy.
In the dead of winter(shit can't use that)...In the nuclear winter(damn can't use that either)...In the blizzard wasteland its hard to imagine anything being able to persist amongst the death grip of old man winter. I was thinking about turning the heat off but the thought of Ween turning into a frozen Mr. Bigglesworth scared me so I left it at 55. Then my dad said screw it the only reason you turn the heat on is to keep the pipes from freezing, the cats a fighter and that's the best chance we got. I was like ah yes that's why you're my father. I've decided that learning life lessons from good parenting can be a life long class. In the last year I've learned how to change the oil in my car with the help of lint, kitty litter, and milk jugs. As you can see its no jiffy lube but it gets the job done to a T. I've also learned how to get out of any possible traffic violation. I've gotten into 3 moving violations in the last year and none have gone on my permanent record. It says here one time you pushed a dog by its hind legs like a vacuum cleaner. I was able to get out by being put on probation, taking a class, and fighting the ticket. I felt like citing John Locke and the case of 1782 of the people vs the United States but then knew I wasn't as smart as G. Will H. and decided to keep my yapper shut.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home